(Image found at The Moderate Voice.)
I'm still not sure if I went too far last Wednesday.
On one had, I've received comments from women saying, "Yes! Thank you! We already put way too much unnecessary pressure on ourselves." But on the other hand, I've also had friends comment and say, "No, you got it all wrong! That's not what Nicole was saying at all!"
I probably should have written that blog post in a less angry manner. And what Nicole wrote wasn't anywhere near anything that You-Know-Who has ever said. But something about Nicole's blog post just rubbed me the wrong way. Maybe it reminded me way too much of why I've become disillusioned with American evangelicalism.
As long-time readers will know, I've been on a spiritual journey during the past couple of years. I've been deconstructing a lot of my previously-held beliefs, and in the process I've realized that there are just some things about evangelicalism that just don't work for me anymore.
I no longer believe that being LGBT is a sin (of course, being a bisexual man, I could be biased).
I no longer believe that marriage is the ultimate goal of the Christian life (although I still believe marriage is a wonderful gift).
I have a different view of original sin.
I believe that women can and should be ordained.
Plus, I'm still recovering from a lot of the spiritual abuse I went through with my ex's family. I don't want to get into too much detail, but for now I'll just say they were your stereotypical Bible-thumpers who thought they held a monopoly on truth.
I just feel like a lot of evangelicalism is based on fear, shame, and guilt. It says you're saved by grace, and then it gives you a long list of rules in order to proved that you are a "true Christian." Well, quite frankly, I'm done with all that stuff. Yes, I want to live a holy life, but I don't want to trade one form of legalism for another. I want abide in God's love, not religion's demands.
So I guess that's why I reacted so strongly towards Nicole's blog post. Did I go too far? I might have. Could I have written it in a calmer voice? Yeah, I could. I just get so frustrated sometimes when I feel like other people just don't get it.
I don't think you go to far. I mean, you may have read into it a tiny bit, but coming from the same damaged background as you, I felt the same feelins rising up in my throat.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think you were attacking her directly as much as standing up against the idea she is perpetuating.
I have nothing against someone talking about how we need to take care of ourselves to stay healthy. If we don't take time for ourselves, rest, pamper once and a while, and rejuvenate ourselves, we will absolutely run out of steam and we won't be helping anyone by burning both ends of the candle.
But telling me my "duty" is to be hot? If that's what my husband needed in life, then he shouldn't have married a human woman. Life and love are about grit, and beauty, but mostly grit. If my duty is to be hot, then that's not marriage.
I think she was going for the "try to take care of yourself" angle--trying to give her the benefit of the doubt--but I think the execution warped the idea into something much worse.