Still Wrestling With The Clobber Passages

(Picture found at ColbyMartinOnline.com)

It’s been four weeks since I came out as bisexual on this blog, and so far so good. I feel a lot more comfortable now in my own skin. I made some new friends through a local LGBT group. I even went on a date with a man I really like (we’re trying not to rush into a relationship right now, even though there’s definitely a mutual attraction). Without a doubt I’m in a much better place right now that I was a month ago.

And yet, there’s still that annoying little voice inside the back of my head: “What if I’m wrong? What if there really is no room in God’s Kingdom for a queer person like me?”

I’ve read the books, I’ve seen the movies, and I’ve been to the websites, so you would think I would have this issue all figured out by now. But after spending over eleven years in the Evangelical crowd . . . well, as Vashti Bunyan once sang, some things just stick in your mind.

For me, it all boils back to original sin. I was taught that because of Adam’s sin (notice how Eve isn’t mentioned), I was born with a corrupt nature that makes me hate God from day one. Everything I think makes me happy actually makes me miserable, but I'm so depraved that I don't realize it. The only way I can know and understand God is to interpret the Bible literally and without question. And if any scientist or other so-called “expert” has any “evidence” that contradicts biblical literalism, it’s just further proof of how Satan is fooling the entire world.

Can you tell I have issues?

And yes, I read Tony Jones' new ebook (a very good read, I might add), so I know that there's a better way of understand sin and redemption (thank God!). But it's still hard to shake those old feelings, you know?