Lately I've been thinking about a certain situation I was in about six or seven years go. I can't go into details, but I will say this--I said some things, and a friendship was ruined for good. After it happened I spent about a good year or so plagued with guilt until finally things settled down. Yet every now and then I get this terrible feeling that one day some one is going to accuse me of being a liar.
Can you tell it's hard for me to let go of stuff?
Sometimes I get this weird idea that God will eventually lose His patience dealing with a guy like me. Yet as a friend of mine recently told me, there's always room for repentance. If Jesus told Peter to forgive people not seven times, but seventy-seven times, maybe God is always willing to forgive me, no matter how many times I have to repent.
This is why I think the Calvinists were right about the whole Irresistible Grace thing, because no matter how many times I try to run away from God (both deliberately and unconsciously), I always come back to Him. I come back like the prodigal son with my head hanging low, no longer worthy to be called a son. And yet, for some reason, I'm always welcomed back home.
Have you ever thought God lost patience with you?
A Subversive Christmas
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