Is My Privilege Showing?

I've been thinking a lot about privilege. It seems that lately I've become more aware of how my privilege affects my day to day life.

For example, as a white person I'll never know what it's like to have people look at me funny and wonder whether or not I'm going to cause any trouble. No one is going to suspect that I'm going to hijack an airplane, or hold up a gas station.

I've also noticed lately that my privileges keep me from seeing things. For example, that new #Fitchthehomeless thing where that guy gives Abercrombie and Fitch clothes to homeless people? I didn't see anything wrong with it at first until Suzannah Paul pointed out its flaws.

I don't want to pull a Tony Jones and whine whenever someone calls out my privilege. But I will say this: I do wish that I didn't have to constantly check my privilege. I wish we lived in a world where there were no privileged groups of people. Everyone could be truly equal.

I asked my friends on Facebook the other day how exactly we overturn this system of privilege. One friend said, "Don't know if it can be done, so I just concentrate on fixing things I personally am doing wrong. Then I point out systemic failure in hopes that others will do the same."

So maybe that's the best thing for me to do now. Maybe I need to check my privilege in order to break the system.

Travis Reads Amy's Baking Company's Facebook Page

So I'm a big fan of Kitchen Nightmares with Chef Gordon Ramsay. The past Friday's episode with Amy's Baking Company made history as the first restaurant Ramsay actually couldn't help. The owners--Samy and Amy--were so full of themselves that they basically refused Ramsay's help. It also didn't help that they lash out at people who write bad reviews of their food. It was one of the best train wrecks ever.

Fortunately the drama isn't over. Recently Samy and Amy went on a rant on their Facebook page and it caught the attention of Huffington Post. Amy and Samy claim they were hacked, but I'll let you be the judge as I read some of their status updates.

Doctor Who and the Non-Consensual Kiss

Okay guys, you're probably going to hate me for this, but I've got to point something out from the latest episode of Doctor Who.

Remember the scene where the Doctor grabs Jenny and plants a big kiss on her lips?

Yeah, that wasn't cool. It wasn't consensual.

Don't get me wrong. I still love my Doctor. And yes, Jenny did slap the Doctor in the face after he kissed her. But the kiss was so not the Doctor. Yes, the Doctor kissed both Rose and Martha. But in those two cases, the Doctor did it to save their lives. This kiss, on the other hand, was a kiss of passion, which isn't bad in and of itself, but because it wasn't consensual it brings up an underlying problem in our culture.

Even in this day and age, there's this idea in our culture that women are somehow obliged to be with men. That they can't have control over their own bodies. That they can't decide for themselves whether or not they want to be with someone. That women basically belong to men.

Now there is a difference between kissing someone accidentally and forcing a kiss upon someone. It's one thing to lean over and kiss someone you think likes you, only to find it was a misunderstanding and then you awkwardly apologize. It's another thing to grab a women you know probably doesn't want to kiss you, and force a kiss on her. It's not rape, I know. But technically it is a form of assault.

All the new episodes with Clara have been troublesome. We don't really know Clara. She's just the sidekick, and nothing else. We got to know her some in "The Bells of Saint John," but other than that Clara just tags along behind the Doctor and doesn't contribute much else. This is a far cry from past companions like Rose, Martha, Amy Pond, and the classic Sarah Jane Smith.

Doctor Who is still my favorite TV show, but currently the show's going in a direction that's not entirely female friendly. Hopefully next week's episode--written by Neil Gaiman--will be different.

Farewell, Tyler, the Creator

Two years ago I unabashedly proclaimed my love for rapper Tyler, the Creator. I loved his sick lyrics, his gritty voice, and his beats. His music reflected my own darkness. Listening to Tyler after a hard day at work was my way of letting off steam. I stuck with him even with all the homophobia and misogyny in his lyrics. After all, Syd tha Kid is a lesbian and she's a member of Odd Future, right?

Lately, however, I haven't been listening to Tyler as much as I used to. I realized that it's hard to fight rape culture when you're listening to a guy who says he's going to "rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome." Plus I've been listening to a lot of Death Grips lately, who are actually more creative and original than Tyler. Technically, Eminem already did the whole woman-killing-psychopath thing back in '99.

But Odd Future's recent commercial for Mountain Dew is the last straw.

In the commercial (directed by Tyler under his pseudonym Wolf Haley), Odd Future and a goat are suspects in the mugging of a white woman. The woman--battered and on crutches--has to pick out who attacked her. The goat (voiced by Tyler) in the line-up starts threatening her by saying things like "Snitches get stitches" and "I'm gonna dew you up." The woman is too scared to pick out the attacker, so she hobbles away on her crutches in fear.

Really, Odd Future? Really???

Okay, first let's start with the racism. You've got a battered white woman and four black men (minus the goat) as suspects. Stereotype, much? I know that Tyler, the Creator is black, but he's still putting out a message that equates black men with rape. That's not really helping!

Second is the misogyny. You have the goat basically threatening this poor woman who has already suffered from enough abuse. Is Tyler trying to say that violence against women is funny? I wouldn't be surprised, with all of Tyler's references to kidnapping, raping, torturing, and butchering women in his lyrics.

I can't in all good conscience listen to a guy who thinks so little about women. Sure, he may be just artistically expressing his tortured mind, like Eminem. But with this commercial Tyler is basically saying that racial stereotypes and violence against women are funny. That's just not cool!

So here's one guy who will not be downloading Tyler's new album any time soon.

Thoughts On Turning 30

(Photo credit: Jronaldlee. Creative commons)

I never thought this day would come. Not in my wildest imagination. But it happened. The day I've been both dreading and anticipating is finally here.

I am now 30 years old.

It's a strange thing to say. I'm 30! I'm a grown up! How did this happen? I honestly thought that we'd either all die in 2012 or that we'd blow ourselves up in a nuclear war before I turned 30. But I guess both nature and mankind had other plans. Not that I'm complaining, of course.

It's strange, life at 30 is a lot different than I thought it would be. I thought I would be a famous writer by this time. Or at least I would be married. But that's the thing about life. As the old joke says, if you want to make God laugh, tell God your plans.

When I look back on my 20s, I see a lot of stuff I should have done differently. I didn't have a lot of friends my age. Out of the six years I spent with Amanda, I was happy for only three of them. I spent a lot of time wondering who I am. I wasn't comfortable in my own skin.

But now I think I'm in a good place. Sure, a lot of things could be better, but for the most part I'm happy. I have loving and supportive parents. Now that I'm out of the closet, I know who I am. I've got great friends to hang out with. I'm a published author. I guess I'm a pretty blessed guy, once you think about it.

So here's to a new decade of life. Hopefully it will be better than my 20s.

Making Sense of Boston

(Photo: L.C. Notaasen)

Another tragedy has occurred. This time three bombs have gone off in Boston. As of right now there are two dead and twenty-three critically injured. No one has claimed responsibility yet.

My head is full of questions. Why did this happen? Where's God in all of this? Is this more proof that God doesn't exist? I think these are the same questions everyone's thinking right now. And the answer is always the same: I don't know.

I can't help but think of something the Buddha once said. If I remember correctly, some one once asked him whether or not God exists. The Buddha replied that asking whether or not God exists is like refusing to leave a burning building until you know where the fire came from. And maybe all these questions are like that.

Maybe we'll never know why the bombings in Boston happened. Maybe the best thing to do now is donate blood or money, to pray for and send good thoughts to Boston.

When God Does/Does Not Make Sense

(Photo credit: BuzzFarmers)

Recently two different people asked me to elaborate on something I wrote in my bio. They wanted me to explain this part-- "There are times when God is so clear to me that I can hardly take it, and other times when He doesn't make a darn bit of sense."

I'd be happy to explain.

First, the times when God feels so real to me. I've had several experiences over the years where I've felt . . . something. I've never had an actual vision of God, and neither have I heard God with my ears. But sometimes when I'm praying, this feeling comes over me. It's hard to describe it. It's like the proverbial light bulb goes off in my head and I finally realize that God loves me more than I could ever imagine. Either that or I suddenly feel connected to everything. In those moments I feel like I'm a part of a huge web of experience where my actions directly affect everything else in nature. And I feel whole.

The first time I had such an experience was when I was 17. I was going through an intense depression episode that day. When my then-girlfriend called me up to chat, I broke down and cried to her on the phone. She told me how much God loved me and wanted to be part of my life (I wasn't a Christian at the time). While she was talking, I had this overwhelming feeling of peace and love. That's the best way I can describe it. Once again, it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I suddenly realized how much God loved me. I became a Christian shortly after that experience.

Now we get to the times God doesn't make sense.

I've always had short periods of doubt here and there throughout my twelve or thirteen years of being a Christian. They mostly occur when I'm feeling really depressed and I don't feel that overwhelming God feeling. That's when I wonder if maybe the skeptics were right all along. But it usually lasts for a few days and then I go back to being a happy believer.

That is, until these past few months.

It started when I read Richard Dawkins. I wondered if maybe he knew some secret that I didn't know. I didn't find any secret piece of information, but Dawkins did bring up some good questions. For example, is there any objective evidence for God? And if not, does that mean believing God is useless? I tried to sort out my questions with my e-book In Praise of the Doubting Thomas, but the doubts wouldn't go away. New questions popped up in my head. Do we really need a holy book to tell us how to be decent human beings? Is God still good if we can be wiped out by an asteroid? How can I call myself both a Christian and a feminist when the church has such a history of patriarchy and sexism?

Right now I'm at a place where I'm not sure if I still qualify as a Christian. I'm not an atheist, but I'm no longer certain about what I believe. I can no longer say the Apostles Creed with confidence. On my good days I'm spiritual-but-not-religious. On my bad days I'm a flat out agnostic. I wish I could just pick a side and get it over with.

I hope I've cleared things up. This is where I am now in my faith journey. I hope I haven't reached the end.